[THROUGH THEIR EYES] Ep. 3: What makes a good friend?

Erben: Hi. I’m Riley, I’m a senior, and I use she/her pronouns.

Cunningham: My name is Ezra Cunningham, ninth grade, he/him pronouns.

McKoy: What do you look for when seeking friendships?

Erben: The thing I look for the most and I think the most important aspect of any relationship, whether that’s friendship or just family relationships or just anything else—I think trust is really important and having trust in that person and that person having trust in you.

Cunningham: One thing that comes to mind is probably … I have to trust that person. So if I’m, if I build that relationship with them, trust them, then I can really bond with that type of person, you know?

McKoy: When do you feel most comfortable in a friendship?

Erben: I think experiences make you more comfortable with people. I think just having genuine experiences with people over a longer amount of time—not necessarily saying that people you know longer, you need to be closer with—that’s not what I’m trying to say at all. I think just having genuine experiences or doing fun things or having a lot of memories, I think that’s the basis of a lot of friendships.

Cunningham: When I trust the person, like I said, or have built that relationship and I really get to know the person and stuff like that.

McKoy: Do you find that it takes you a certain amount of time to feel close with someone?

Cunningham: To really get a good relationship with the person? Yeah.

McKoy: What’s your favorite way to make memories with your friends?

Erben: Well, I just like being outside and talking. So for a lot of my friends one of our favorite activities is literally just going to walk around Summit, or down by Mississippi River Boulevard and just talk or rant about what’s going on in our lives and talking about the solutions together. I feel like it’s the most productive way I can hang out with someone.

Cunningham: Some things like going out to lunch or playing sports or just chilling, talking to each other.

McKoy: How do you try to be a good friend?

Cunningham: Probably trying to get to know the person more. You know see what they like, see if it matches with that what I like, being kind. Also respecting the person.

Erben: Being an outlet for them and making them feeling comfortable enough to come and talk to you. And just being a source of console, or just literally someone there to just be there.

McKoy: How do you stay in touch with friends that you don’t see on a regular basis or daily basis?

Cunningham: I like to FaceTime a lot of my friends or just text them and see what they’ve been up to and stuff like that.

Erben: I feel like I’m pretty lucky in the sense that a lot of my friends I can’t see on a regular basis whether that’s they’re not Minnesota or go to different schools. They’re the type of friendships where you can kind of pick them back up and it doesn’t really feel like any time has passed. I really like just texting FaceTiming I think there’s a lot to be said about face to face contact. I did a little stint where I would write letters to people which is kind of fun, but, also really time consuming. So I don’t know if I recommend that.

McKoy: What are your thoughts on quality versus quantity when it comes to friends?

Erben: I’m a strong believer that quality is, should be weighed, completely over quantity. I think—I honestly think—I’m really friendly with a lot of people, but I think the people I let into my smaller circle or kind of closer to me, it’s a very, very few amount. Under five, honestly. I think a lot of those friendships go both ways. They just feel like more genuine connections.

Cunningham: I’d say quality over quantity. One good solid friend that you can trust and respect and have a good time with is better than tons of fake friends.

McKoy: How do you weed out friendships that seem more surface level?

Cunningham: I kind of just leave them in a sense. I’ll just drop them. Yeah. Or spend more time around better friends.

McKoy: How would you summarize the role that friendships play in your life?

Erben: I think they’re super important. I mean I’m very, like I said, I have a very small circle of friends but I’m super close with all of them and I trust them with my whole heart and I know they trust me. So that’s super important to me, just because like I said trust is just genuinely also really important. Personally I think that’s the basis of literally any relationship.

Cunningham: I like to say I have a big friendship with my dad and mom, both parents, cousins and then also just friends in general pays a big part of my life.

Erben: My friends are like very formative of me, I think.

Music Credits:

“I Can Feel it Coming” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License