I work at a restaurant in Woodbury called “The Woodbury Cafe.” It is a relatively boring place seeing as it’s in Woodbury, which is essentially senior citizen central. For the most part the only people that come in are people over the age of 60. Occasionally however, interesting people do pop in.

My main job at work is to clean up tables and take plates out of the way for people who are done, right? So I was doing my rounds and someone looked like he was done with his food, so I asked “Hi sir, can I take that plate out of the way for you?” And he started growling at me. Not like a playful growl, but a full on dog growl. His presumed-wife said “Oh don’t worry, you can take it,” so I reached down to grab it, and this guy decided to start biting. He did one of those bites that some dogs do to warn other dogs that they are ferocious towards the air. Needless to say, after pulling my arm back and almost punching one of the waitresses in the face, I left thoroughly weirded out. I went to the back and laughed for a solid 10 minutes. The manager came up and asked me what was wrong and I explained what happened, he let me have a 10 minute break, so that was good.

Another time, when I was cleaning up a table, I overheard a conversation between two people about noses.
Person 1: “What are noses?”
Person 2: “The things on your face you smell with”
Person 1: “I know that, but I mean their name, how did they get that?”
Person 2: “I don’t know, someone probably just made sounds until another person was like ‘yea, thats a good one'”
Person 1: “Also what’s up with their shape?”
Person 2: “Oh dude, I think you’re on to something”
Person 1: “Right? It’s like, I don’t even know how to describe them!”
Person 2: “Jeez, look at all of the noses in here”
Person 1: “And they’re all different, like what?”
Person 2: “I don’t even know man..”