Excellence is not only a professed value of SPA, but a tangible feeling within the school walls. No matter the activity, students expect to succeed. In particular, May at SPA is a time of accolades, from grade-level book awards to student organization elections to the bowls at Commencement. While these traditions undoubtedly honor students’ hard work, they also promote a deeply ingrained achievement culture.
It is important to separate the role of the institution in cultivating high standards and the competition among students that reinforces them. In addition to the stress of exams and looming transitions, students’ final weeks of the school year are rampant with toxic comparisons. As clubs and organizations select new leaders, it is common to hear students holding an all-or-nothing perspective: “If I don’t win this position, I’ll quit the activity entirely.” This outlook pits an individualistic pursuit of success against the purpose of extracurricular groups: to connect with others with shared interests and contribute to the community.
The search for achievement often continues even after school ends. When a student complains that they “didn’t get anything done over the summer,” they mean they didn’t accomplish anything worth sharing. The little moments of relaxation and enjoyment – time spent with family and friends, ice cream on a hot day, splashing in the pool – are overshadowed by the need to build a well-rounded resume for college.
The pressure that students are feeling is understandable. In a sea of competitive peers, it is easy to feel that everyone has “their thing.” If they aren’t the best at any of their activities, how can they be expected to stand out? The fear of failure, of not having “your thing,” can be paralyzing. At the same time, defining oneself by a single talent limits potential. Participating in an activity purely for enjoyment, even if it doesn’t come naturally, is healthy. It takes bravery to try new things and struggle, but those challenges and failures are essential for growth.
The school, for its part, appears aware of the toxic potential of a rigorous college preparatory school — mental health services and wellness days offer a break from academics. Certainly, high standards and competition for awards, titles and college push students to excel, but they also further a rigid definition of success at all costs. Failure may be valued as a necessary setback on the path to success, but many in our community seem unconvinced.
The emphasis on finding excellence may leave graduates unready for their inevitable mistakes and unable to persevere past failure. Perhaps the act of failing requires a rebrand. Since everyone will face rejection and defeat in their lives, we can all embrace the courage to try.
As the school year comes to a close, remind yourself that your interests have value outside of a title or accomplishment. Reject toxic achievement culture that stifles long-term growth. Celebrate the accomplishments of your peers, but know that no award defines success or your overall worth. This summer, challenge yourself to reach outside your comfort zone, whether that be a new activity or social connection, to venture without fear of failure.
