Saifocles: Thank you for your inconvenience


If you are one of the people mentioned on this list, congratulations! You help make my day by allowing me to express some emotion.

1. The swerving driver in front of me: you help me to maintain my agility and short-response reflexes while sharpening my multi-tasking skills of expressing myself through words and avoiding crashing with other drivers on the road.

2. The driver in front of me that likes to change lanes without using your blinker, also known as the swinger: you help me to practice, hone and sharpen my telepathy skills since I have to deduce that you suddenly want to come in front of me.

3. The post-editing crew that uploads footage from television shows to the internet: you help me have a laugh a day which is truly good medicine. Good luck finding an actual job!

4. The lady who walks by my house everyday but refuses to pick up her dog’s poop: you help me to remember what a great sense of smell I have when I have to pass and smell your dog’s business every day this week on my way to check the mail.

5. The little kid who is running around in Target (I shop there a lot) looking for his mother, crying and shouting in your own made up language: you help me to realize that I will train my kids to be behaved in public and stop throwing tantrums, especially if there is someone right there in the aisle looking at you.

6. To the mother of the little kid running around in Target who is looking for the kid, crying and shouting: you help me to realize that I will not leave my kids unsupervised in public settings and let them further embarrass me by throwing tantrums.

7. To the many friends on Facebook with incorrect spelling in your statuses: you help me to be always grateful for the sufficient education I had in English language, composition and grammar.

8. To the person who writes with CAPS lock on their Facebook, Twitter, or any other social networking site constantly: you help me be happy that I have a full, working keyboard and my CAPS button isn’t stuck. Also, you remind me that I get angry because I think you’re always ‘shouting’ when you write and it helps me to control my anger. Sometimes.

Even if you aren’t on this list, just know that I still love you.