Do you remember being ten years old, gleefully going about your childhood ways when your parents pulled you to the side and said it was “time you had a conversation”? Maybe this had been spurred by a sudden need to know where babies come from, or maybe they’d been observing that your smell had gradually been worsening over time. Either way, they put their head in their hands and began to explain to you the basics of a vast egregor that was sexual health. Or maybe they were super enthusiastic and positive, and had prepared you for this conversation since you were a kid, following the latest child therapy trends. Or maybe they handed you a book, said absolutely nothing, and hoped you didn’t find anything out via the Internet.
Whichever form the infamous Talk took for you as a preteen, it definitely was the first major step in your development. But now, you’re a teenager, and you probably haven’t talked to your parents about anything related to sexuality in a long time—but your development isn’t done. Your parents are still resources despite the awkwardness, and your health in all of its facets is important. But how do you do it? How do you bring this up?
Sex education has been researched extensively in recent years, and many have come to the conclusion that it is a necessity. There are two types of sex education often discussed—comprehensive sex education, which focuses on sexual health and safety, and abstinence-only sex education. According to Planned Parenthood, comprehensive sex education is reported to reduce pregnancies in teenagers between the ages of 15 and 19 by around 50%, compared to abstinence-only sex education. Learning about sex and all of its caveats in a safe environment has vast benefits compared to being given utterly nothing and having to learn via rumors and the media.
However, comprehensive sex education doesn’t stop when your wellness class ends. You just happen to have adults right in your corner that have real-life, varied experiences with sexuality—your parents or guardians. Medical information is great, but one of the most essential things about sexuality is that it is incredibly varied, and sexual and emotional health are linked. No matter how safe you are, there is still a chance that you will end up in an unsafe situation, and you need to have someone you can go to that you trust in case that happens.
There are plenty of resources for parents about talking with their teens about sexual health, but hardly any for teens. Starting the conversation will likely be odd, of course, but over time it should get easier. The conversations can be strictly formal (i.e. what’s the plan if an emergency happens) or they can go beyond that depending on your comfort level. Your parents are a great resource, even if it’s awkward. So, it’s time to have the Talk again. Open up those pathways of communication so you can use them when you need to.