10 things your teachers never tell you

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Boraan Abdulkarim

Upper School history teacher Aaron Shuler pretends to throw a book into the fireplace, something highly unusual of him. Something else that he doesn’t usually do is hand out insider teacher hacks to students.

Boraan Abdulkarim, Chief Visual Editor

1. We know when you have no idea what you’re talking about

“We always know when you’re making stuff up and you didn’t do the reading,” previous Upper School History teacher Andrea Sachs said.

2. Print on heavier paper

To give the impression of a denser essay, Upper School history teacher Mollie Ward recommends  printing longer pieces on heavy paper. “When you go to college, go to a bookstore and buy the really heavy paper. Not cardstock, but the heaviest paper. Because then as your teacher is going through all the papers, they pick your paper up and it has this impact on them where they think this is weighted. It’ll work.” Ward admitted to using this strategy herself. “I don’t know, my friend and I in college thought it worked,” she said.

3. You aren’t fooling anyone with that block quotation.

“If you use a block quotation, you might as well just say ‘I have nothing to say and I’m trying to fill up space,’” Sachs said.

4. We put a lot of effort into this teaching thing. Don’t blow it off.

“For some classes, I actually write the text. It’s kind of frustrating, after I’ve taken the time to write that [students] don’t read it. I give them six pages, and they work on half a page here, half a page there,” Upper School mathematics teacher Bill Boulger said.

“When it’s clear that someone didn’t take the time to look at all the things that were underlined in red, that can be kind of annoying,” Upper School history teacher Nan Dreher said.

5. Sometimes it’s as easy as just doing the reading.

“I’ve got years of evidence that they don’t read the book. So, my hint is … read the book. Don’t start doing the problems. Do yourself a favor and take the first five minutes to read, and then start the problems,” Boulger said.

With some kids, it’s like ‘oh yeah, did you get my email?’ and I’m like ‘yeah, did you get mine that I sent five minutes after?’

— Upper School History teacher, Ryan Oto

6. If you’re going to use an online translator, at least don’t use Google Translator.

Use of online dictionaries is not recommended for translating long sentences in language classes, and  Upper School Spanish teacher Ronaldo Castellanos can tell when a student used one just by looking at a given sentence. “Google translate is not always something you can rely on because the translation is often faulty, whereas WordReference is more of an academic tool. So you get not only a more accurate translation, but you can have input on grammar or a thesaurus. I don’t trust Google Translate as the ultimate [translation]. It’s better than what [it used to be] and it’ still improving, but it’s not there yet,” Castellanos said.

7. Question marks draw attention.

Upper School Spanish teacher Rafi Salido has observed that when students put question marks on a page to imply that they don’t know how to answer a question, it draws her attention more than it would if they had just left it blank. This gives a more general sense that the student has not mastered the concepts than if the student had simply attempted the problem and put down what he or she did know.

8. When in doubt, nod and drop an SAT word.

Every student knows the feeling of being called on in the midst of a daydream about lunch or a calculation of how many minutes of class are left. Upper School history teacher Aaron Shuler gives a strategy to get out of such a sticky situation, but claims it will not fool SPA teachers. “If you get called on in class and you weren’t paying attention, make a deeply reflective face, exhale lightly and remark after a pregnant pause, “I suppose the issue that I am having is that I’m not quite sure that I can accept the premise of the question.”  This will usually prompt an explanation or restating of the question.  You should then make a thoughtful comment on the question to cover your tracks and then answer the question itself,” he said.

9. When you send an email, actually check for our reply.

Upper School history teacher Ryan Oto is more than willing to help students when they send an email to him, but sometimes they are the ones that don’t end up doing their end of the communication. “If you send an email, make sure that you respond to the email. With some kids, it’s like ‘oh yeah, did you get my email?’ and I’m like ‘yeah, did you get mine that I sent five minutes after?’” Oto said.

10. Be proactive. It just might land you on our good side.

As a student, passiveness is your greatest enemy. “If you want a letter of recommendation or you need help, being proactive goes a long way and it shows a lot of care and it shows a respect level that’s different. It’s a nice way to set someone apart,” Oto said.

“We’re definitely more willing to give you the benefit of the doubt if you have been proactive,” Dreher said.